Busy months, moving moments and much motivation.

_{ALL the packages are finally prepared! I will send them right after the new year begins. The post is way too crowded now.}


***


You, darling.

 There is only one you like that in the world and you know very well who you are. Thank you for this year. For every lovely Zel. Thank you for this wonderful gift, that will make my next year here in dA so much more entertaining. For smiles, songs and kittens. For letting me be the craziest, the loveliest and the most silly girl anyone has ever seen. For long hours and short messages. For being there when I was at every possible edge. For making my every day so much more cheerful and every night so much more peaceful. I love you. _{As hell.}





I can't live with you,
                and I can't live without you,
                cause I'm in love you
                and everything about you..

     ...through the madness, through the tears.. we still got each other.. for a million years...



I always intend to make my journals as unpredictable and full of surprises as I can. But this time, I just CANNOT resist!!



This song. This over-heard, over-played, aboslutely awfully, painfully typical Christmas song. I love it.
Its lyrics gain a new meaning to me every year and that's just amazing. Really amazing.

_{And I love love love love George Michael.}

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart..
This year, to save me from tears,
I'll give it to someone special..

But fiiiiiiiiirst, let's move a little bit back in time. I haven't written a journal for AGES. Now, thanks to that wonderful opportunity of Christmas break and a wooooonderful gift being a whole YEAR Premium Membership (!!! ) I'm able to write down a few words and add a few pictures to tell you about all the happenings of the last months of my life. _{A little note for my new friends: it means you better get ready for a super-long and complicated flood of information.}



Autumn.

<sub>Freddie.... I won't say anything. Those who know, do.


The best piece of furniture ever. And it's mine.</sub>


It was a very sunny and quite a lovely, but also very hard-working autumn. The craziest in my life.

_{I felt like that multi-functional robot I've drawn for my German classes..}


 In short (extreemly short) I was: learning, meeting a lot of wonderful people, doing volunteer jobs, learning, filling out scholarship papers, learning, learning, LEARNING. Hard. O.o



Meanwhile, I was also sleeping and eating. But it wasn't really that much..

My current high-school's level is really high and so are the requirements. But I feel so great about it. I finally feel the willing, the motivation. I feel I can achieve something, something else than being just the best out of the average, as it used to be in middle school. I feel really very happy.

That also explains, why I had barely the time to visit dA. But I'll try to make it more regular, at least. I have sooo many plans for 2014..



Ermmm.... so yeah. I already told you about learning.. studying, in fact. But, my dearest friends, if you only knew how much I've learnt about life in the last few months! It's just... unbelievable.

First and foremost, I learnt that I really shouldn't be afraid of other people, like I sometimes am. They seem so cold, different, sometimes superior to myself... so seemed my classmates, at first. But now I got to know all of them (and happily they all turned out to be really wonderful individuals).. and I understood, that we're all different.. and all similar. At the very same time. I just try to look at others this way. Everyone has troubles. Big noses, failing grades. Insecurities. Some are really good at hiding them, some are not. And knowing that, makes my life so much easier..



Pola! I haven't written about her as I much as I should. But well, there's nothing really to write... to feel, maybe. She's my little treasure. My little, feet-licking, wet-nosed, big-eyed sweetheart.







I also visited the dogs shelter a few more times. A totally irreplacable experience. I got to know some of these dogs more personally and that was just GREAT. I fell in love with Szpulka, a mix of Collie and.. something else, which must have been the most loving creature ever.







And many, many others.. Jasiek, the weirdest weirdo I've ever seen, with big pointed ears, super-long legs and messy white fur...Homer, an old wise explorer whose name fits just PERFECTLY.. They're all so individual. Like humans. Or maybe... like the world. The whole world. When I'm working with animals, the whole world seems somehow complete to me.

And children!
I'm not really good at baby-sitting, don't get me wrong. Me and the whole rest of our "volunteer club" prepared a lot of packages for poor and large families. I don't need to say it was so so so sooooo great to see how happy they are.



Now, look at THIS...



My last journal was such a loooong time ago, but maybe you rememeber the girl I told you about. The wonderful always-smiling great soul I've met at my new school. Her name is Paula. As you can see from the picture, we're friends now. Great friends.



She's just.. I've got no words. It's a different type of relationship than the one I have with my best friend Daria (which is still going great, even though we're in different schools) but I'm enjoying it soooo much...

_{Me and Daria. Still together.}


She shows me how much she cares every day. With hugs, smiles and gifts. _{So many gifts..}
Simply: with the whole of wonderful herself.



I became much more sociable than I used to be! Basically, each weekend I'm going somewhere. One evening, on the Andrzejki night we've had a little home-party with my friends. On that night, there's a tradition of predicting your future and stuff in various, sometimes funny ways. I made some fortune-telling cookies and they were a huge success, especially considering the fact how silly was their inside.



Going back to the school stuff: besides classes there was also much happening. Our class was chosen to prepare the great pre-Christmas performance which is a kind of tradition at our school each year. It was such a challenge! Moreover, my teacher had chosen ME, the overly-emotional teenage girl who's totally lacking of leadership abilities to be the MAIN DIRECTOR. I thought I'd die. Or fail in front of the whole school. Which would be pretty the same.

_{The decorations in our classroom.}


But no. I did not fail, my darling friends. And I did not die.



We ALL did so well.. as a really close-nit team, for the first time ever since we met. We played so well, we sang... ermm.. QUITE well.. I made the scenario, girls helped me to prepare the decorations, our teacher was almost crying, I was so proud, so happy, so full of INNER RAINBOWS !!

_{...like I had thousands of Christmas lights lit inside}


Then, we had our little class Christmas party, everyone was saying wishes to each other and we ate. Tons. Of. Sweets. I can't even look at chocolate anymore.



The teacher took me away for a while and said something, I'd never ever expect from her. I'd like to leave the exact words between me and her.. but I can tell you I felt warmer than wrapped around in three fluffy blankets.

_{The very happy and proud Zel with her classmates.}


I thought I just couldn't be any happier that day. And damn...I was soooo wrong..

Around 5 PM, the postman arrived at my door. When I saw the adress of the sender, I almost jumped at the place. And then, We are the champions came on the radio.

_{The WONDERFUL picture of me and Teona drawn by the super-talented Mistertwieght}


Instead of doing the stuff I was supposed to, I was dancing around with the poor darling Pola. The postman looked a bit amused but more annoyed.



"May that crazy girl stop dancing with that crazy dog, sign those damn papers and take her package because I wanna go HOME!!"

But, if he knew what was going on, he'd forgive me, I'm sure. It's not every day, that you get a birthday package... from your beloved little Romanian sister!



When I read the letter, I simply started to cry. I've cried a lot in the last months, for many reasons. I generally cry a lot. But those tears were so special, that if I could I'd put them in a little jar and have a look each time I forget that happiness exists. Really.



The beautiful Christmas card, sweets, polar-bear plushie, beuatiful butterfly earrings, hand-made drawings... I spent beautiful hours admiring these treasures.

Teona, my darling little sister. I've told you a million times, in all my journals, our video-chats, usual talks. You are so very special. Like no one on this planet, universe and further. Your soul is painted like the wings of butterflies. The most beautiful ones.

<sub>She is gorgeous.


And I cannot wait to see you next summer!</sub>



Presentspresentspreseeeents. I love them in any form. Giving, receiving, creating, thinking up... is there any other, more wonderful way of using your material possesions than showing the other people how you LOVE them?!

Yesterday, my fabulous friends came over to give me the early birthday gifts. I got so many fluffly, shiny, funny, wonderful, cute, silly, smile-making, huggable things that I literally fell down on the floor (I was laughing just that much... )

Among maaany others, there were: an uber-cute, blue lemur, gingerbreads-smelling body scrub, a sculpture (!) that was supposed to look like me and a portrait of me made with coal (!! ), damn funny coupons for stuff like 60 SECONDS OF HUGS, THE BIGGEST ICE CREAM EVER, A POEM ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL AND BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING I AM or BEING ABLE TO COMPLAIN FOR THE WHOLE DAMN DAY WITHOUT ANY NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES, tons of chocolate and the most awful pictures of me that has ever been taken with many I love yous written down in the most interesting places.

Oh. My.



Yeah, I've had fun in the last days.
This holiday break is pretty long, so I'm going to spend my time doing many, many wonderful activities like skating, reading, listening to MUSIC (QueenEltonJohnPinkFloydGeorgeMichaelBiilyJoelahhhhhhh) and.. dAing!



Now, I am going to spend the holidays with my family. It maybe sounds like nothing special.. everyone around goes to visit each other, every year.. but to me, it's the most unusual thing ever. It's the first Christmas like that. Me and family.. it's a very complicated affair. But I've decided to spend it with those, who really want to spend it with me, despite of the circumstances. I'm so very happy about it. I'm excited like a little kid.

_{How can you be not excited with the smell of cupcakes all around?!}


Then, on the New Year's night, I'm going to a party. It'll be also a kind of new stuff to me, because I've been to parties before, but never on THAT night. I'll try not to loose my mind, darlings, don't worry. I cannot wait.

So, as you can see, the end of this year will be full of new, wonderful experiences. So will be 2014! The fourth year of mine on dA, the third of my living at the new place, the second one I really believe things will get better in the end and the first I feel truly, sincerely happy.

 

What more can I say, my friends? I wish you peaceful days, filled with everything you only wish they could be. Smiles, because they are the best. Food, because it's food. Hugs, because they are actually even better than smiles. Shiny lights, sparkling eyes. Hope, tons of it.

And Love.

Zel